Guy Talk…

My story is not about love finding a happy ending, it is more about giving me the life I live today and me finding eternal love. It is about me and a very dear friend who showed me life is all about what you make it and nothing else, without even knowing how deeply I loved him and wanted to be with him.

self-love

 

I always grew up knowing I was different, for me, the background which I grew up in allowed me absolute freedom to be comfortable about who I was. Unfortunately, the country we live in does not allow us that freedom of expression, hence for a guy like me I went through hell either way, the only solace I had was home. Every time I pray to god, I feel blessed to have the parents I did, who supported me through the times I felt confused and told me I was not alone.

I used to live on the 4th Floor of the same building where he lived on the 2nd. While growing up, I went to an all boys school and he was with me through school, but I was confused about why I was never interested in the girls my friends used to want to ask out, why the boy conversations they had never interested me, why I always used to want to be with him, kid dish things like sitting on the same bench, I would get angry if he would not sit with me on the same bench. I was a dumb kid who did not understand why I used to feel that way, honestly and I was getting frustrated every day because I did not know what was wrong. There was this once where my parents thought they would ask me, and tried, but I somehow couldn’t even explain as to why I was frustrated . As time went by and we had internet, I started seeing why I was confused, I started finding many others who were like me, had been through what I had been through and I started realizing there was nothing wrong with me at all, I realized what I felt for him was LOVE.

Friendship

My dear friend although was not like I was, he was a macho jock type personality with a play boyish charm. I loved him since the time we spent growing up, watched him dating women, watched him marrying a fabulous person, all the while crying by myself, just hoping that although I cannot follow up on this and find out if this was even possible at least he is happy ( Yeah I know that sounds cliché, but it is true none the less ).

Reaching for Help

 

I started loving him more when I saw that ,as we started coming of age  and started  being more open and comfortable about who I was, the  same people I grew up  with started looking at me differently, many  unfortunately started to maintain a  distance from me, they would not  invite me for any plans or share any ‘guy’ things  about themselves with  me.

It was a time in my life where I wanted to be a recluse, shut myself off  from the  world and bury myself in my own misery, but HE was the only  reason I did not. This was the time which crafted my path for the rest of  my life.

He never treated me any different, he would first call me for any plans made,  I was his pillion rider for years on end with our little bike group that we had in our building , going on trips, drinking the same beer, sitting around the same camp fire, discussing his girlfriends, having the same fun. I was always the go to guy for him.

Although I never gave him an iota of an indication about how I felt for him, I felt selfless love from him. The innocent, selfless, comforting love that , for a person like me, was hard to come by.

Years passed, as our friendship went from strength to strength, so did my love for him. It was not infatuation, I genuinely fell in love with him.  I could not even think of being with another guy, however, I was and to this day remain a coward. I sit an wonder whether if I ever gave him an idea about how I felt, would I lose what I already have with him? I decided I would never talk to him about it.  Every day that he would meet a girl for marriage, he would call me to discuss how the meeting went, I would cry on the inside and laugh on the outside, but yet life was beautiful, I had my love close to me, the love who had absolutely no idea about how I felt, yet unknowingly gave me the most comforting feeling ever.

luv

Then one day, he found some one. She was a lawyer at a high profile firm in Mumbai. I was the first person she met, even before his parents. They got married, I was actually the best man at their wedding. With every passing day, I was finding it hard to watch them go about their daily lives, I will be honest, I felt like dying inside every time I saw them. They were the happiest couple I had seen. I decided it was time to move away.

I got into a Fashion Design institute in another city, again a cliché, but it was of a lot of interest for me always hehe. After completing my course, I spent some time travelling to different countries and working there, finally to settle in the United States. Today I am a successful Fashion Designer in San Francisco.

mystery-man

Years have passed, as I reminisce about the years gone by, I  think it was only because of the love I felt for him and the  love he showed me unknowingly , that I was able to get to  where I am today. I am in a relationship with an amazing  man today, and can be very open about it where I am today.

Its like the saying , “ You laugh at me because I am  different, I laugh at you because you are the same”.

Even though I never told him how I felt, I felt love which  defined how my life will be, and I thought it deserved a  mention . I hope wherever he is he is happy as we have lost  touch.

Darryl and Nirmala

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First time I met Nirmala Maria Pinto (I know what you’re thinking very unusual name for a catholic) was at grant road station during our HSC board exams. We were part of a common group of friends in college. There she was shouting “ Pee Party” at the top of her voice for some unknown reason and the obvious thought in my mind was “ that’s a weird way to get to know someone “,but as time passed by and I got to know her better I started to realize how similar we are and yet so different.

She on the other hand thought I was cute when we first met and so did another friend of hers, they had this contest running to find out, who from the both of them, would ask me for my number  (you’ve all at some point done that “dude get me an intro thing”). Nirmala at that point, as bold as she is as a person, simply just walked up to me an asked me for my number. I was taken aback, my cheeks were red and almost in a voice as manly as Whoopie Goldberg, I said, “9xxxxxxxx ”.

And so then on, even if ,we always used to hangout with a large group of friends, as soon as we went back home we used to chat all night via text or speak on the phone for hours.

Then I started realizing how much  I liked Nirmala, I cant stop talking to her or about her. I decided I will do something about this, I mean she had to know how I felt right? , so when we went for the DYC camp (The archdiocese of the Church, take kids from the Local parish to Khandala for a retreat ) with our friends and that’s when I decided I am going to pursue my feelings for her, I even convinced her to put in extra biryani in her plate so we could eat from the same plate, tried to make her jealous by flirting with other girls, which in my opinion worked, although she will never admit to it.

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As time went by we both grew very fond of each other. There wasn’t one day where we would not speak to each other , evidence being, that because of my inability to pay my own bills, my cell phone was confiscated by my dad TWICE because of the phone bills he got, however that did not stop me, the guy at the PCO still waves at me and calls out to me every time I pass by, even after all these years have passed.

You would be surprised to know however that even through all this, I still had not garnered the guts to ask her out, until cupid shot me with his arrow to give me courage, and on 1st of may I asked her out on a date ‘officially’.

From the first time I met her on 29th February 2008, to all the craziness  in between, to me asking her out on 1st of may 2008, until now its been an amazing 6 years 7 months , and I had not even counted how long it has been until the time I sat down to write it, Nirmala, we will see through this life together.

Chaitra and Sunish

Chaitra and Sunish

We were in the 12th standard. In the entire class of 18, Chaitra was the only girl. We took a trip to Mount Abu – it was a long journey by train. I became friends with her only to hit on her friend who was accompanying her. Now that we look back at it, it feels really funny how we both actually started dating. On Valentines’ Day, we just went out on a casual date, without any commitment. We had a good time, I realized how much we both had in common.

Life had different plans for both of us after that. We were separated by distance, as she moved back to Bangalore from Delhi, to work. I somehow felt that we had left something incomplete, even though neither of us ever had a conversation about our feelings. I then started keeping in touch with her through handwritten love letters. After a while, I finally knew she was the one, and gathered up the courage to propose to her. It was through an STD call. My happiness knew no bounds when she said yes! It took a lot of convincing from both ends, for our families to accept this union. But we finally made it. We have been married for 6 years, and it still feels like our story has just begun.

Megha and Gautam

Sometimes, you’ve got to stop trying too hard. Because sometimes, the answer lies right behind the door, but we’re too busy searching the world.

This is supposed to be the story of how I met my husband. Well, I don’t know when I met him for the first time, must have been a few days after I was born. He also attended my parents wedding. No, I’m not kidding! Gautam’s family and my family have known each other for generations. We kind of grew up together. But we didn’t really have a childhood romance. We had our separate lives, which interconnected through our families. After growing up, we met off and on at family dinners and weddings. I always liked him, but never thought anything more. At about 23, I had no clue about who I wanted to marry. But my father knew. They say fathers understand and know their daughters the best. True. The families spoke, and Gautam and I agreed to go out on a date. Not very long after, we were hooked!

It’s been 2 years since our beautiful wedding. I always tell him that I wish I could have changed certain aspects of our wedding. But what matters is, there is absolutely nothing that I wish to change about our marriage.

Not much drama in our story. The answers to both our lives were right behind our doors. We just took the time to stop, breathe, and look in the right place, at the right time. Thank God for that.

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Ritu and Akshay

Ritu and Akshay

I saw him in college for the first time in first year B-com and I went weak in my knees. I thought he was cute and something about him made me smile. We knew each other, but at that point in time I was not interested in any kind of a relationship. I don’t think he was either. We spent a good 3 years in college together and we got to know each other well. Since we spent a lot of time together, at some point in time in our last year of college, our friends thought we were dating. But I was still waiting for him to ask me out.

I am from Bombay and he is from Dubai, which means college was ending and our friendship was soon going to turn into merely occasional phone calls. That alone made me feel a bit weak and I realised that I liked him more than a friend. However I was not keen to jump into a long distance relationship and I was not sure if he was up for it either. So I waited. On my last birthday which we spent together, I was hoping he would ask me out. I guess life had other plans – instead of asking me out, he asked me if I liked him! We laugh about it now, but back then I was a little taken aback; because in my mind, I thought he would declare his feelings for me instead. Anyhow I made it more difficult for him – I just told him that he was a good friend. He left for Dubai, while I was here in Bombay. It’s only when he spent a few months without me, I guess it dawned upon him, that he liked me more than a friend. He flew back to Bombay and made sure this time around he left as my “boyfriend”. And that’s when our story began. We dated for 3 years before we decided to get married. We are happily married for 6 and a half years with a 2 year old daughter.

True Love Has No Name

True Love Has No Name

I would not like to disclose our identities, and we are no longer together today, but I would still like to share our story. We are both big fans of Bollywood so I choose to write this story in a complete filmy way, in a flashback. We practically spent our teenage with each other and for each other. On 5th August, 2009 I met him in the corridor of my college. He was a dancer who represented our college for cultural festivals. His high self-ego and flirting ways turned me off the minute I met him – never had I in my wildest dreams thought I would fall for someone who was a mirror image of my nature and personality. When we performed together, we became close. The 5 second conversations turned to 2 hour long chats and before I knew it, I had fallen in love with him. He meant the world to me. He liked me as well but never expressed anything in return because he somewhere knew it would not work.

Our story took a complete Bollywood twist from this point (mind you, we both are completely filmy). After a few months of making me wait he finally expressed his love for me. Our main concern was his family, who opposed our pair, as we both belonged to different religions. We decided to stay away for his family’s sake, but in vain.  He surprised me on 15th Sept, 2011 by taking me to a beautiful terrace top, and asking me to be with him for a lifetime. It was dramatic when his question was followed by rain. However, a few years down the line we decided to go separate ways because our future seemed bleak.

We do not have a typical happy ending, we could not end our relationship on good terms. But even as I say this, I wonder – was that really the end? Logically our story ends here, but even now, whenever I visit a Dargah or a temple, I wish and pray that tomorrow when I get married and have kids, it is him who I can call my husband and my children can call their father.

This man never failed to cheer me up and always reminded me that my smile is the world’s best smile.

Karmen and Tomoi

Karmen and Tomoi

The plan was to go to the UK to study, finish my three years there, come back home to the friends and family that I loved and missed and drink long island ice teas through the night and live the glitzy Bombay life.
But I met Tomoi, my first year in Uni, we were both on the same course and he threw a huge house party where we properly had a chat for the first time and he uttered the worst pick up line of all time. “You speak pretty good English.” WRONG! but I think I was tipsy enough to let it slide and all of a sudden, we had spent all night talking. Summer after, when the 2006 Bombay train blasts happened, he found my email from a common friend and emailed to ask if I was OK, and that’s when it started – chatting online all night, sending emails every other day. I went back to Uni in September (I was actually dating someone at the time).
In October, I had broken up with my boyfriend and I was dating Tomoi. That was 6 and half years ago. Now we’re married. Have been for 2 years and we’ve had 3 beautiful wedding ceremonies each one special in it’s own way. Our UK wedding surrounded by our friends and family here, a white dress and our first dance, our Indian wedding, full of good food, fabulous friends and family from all over the world and our small intimate Japanese blessing ceremony with family I had never met before but somehow felt a kinship with.
We’ve had our ups and downs, we’ve fought and made up, like every couple does. We’re in it for the long haul, but when you’re best friends and you’re excited to come home to see your other half even after being together for 6 years, you know you’ve made the right life choices.
We’re happy and what more could anyone ask for?

Sonam and Hamir

The textbook definition of a wedding is – the ceremony or celebration of a marriage. According to us our wedding is a celebration of not only our marriage but the celebration of unity of both our families who reside in various parts of the city, country, and the world.

We – Sonam & Hamir, met initially in 2003, and no, it was not love at first sight. We did not hear about each other for the next few years, when suddenly one day, Facebook suggested that we should be friends. We started chatting on Facebook and MSN messenger. One sunny afternoon we finally decided to meet.

After this, Hamir had to leave for the UK for work. This is when we started our Blackberry chats, which were great, but it would get frustrating not to see each other. Though Skype made things easier, the time difference was killing us. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder which was true for us.

From then, we believe that no matter what happens, we both will be there for each other in our happiness, sorrow, anger, excitement, loneliness and victories. It has been a lovely experience being with him.

Priyanka and Saurav

They say, a picture speaks a thousand words. Saurav’s photo spoke right through my heart from the day I saw it.

It was a typical arranged marriage scenario at home. On a balmy November afternoon my sister randomly flipped her laptop towards me and asked, “What do you have to say about this picture, isn’t he very handsome?” All I managed to tell her was, “Yeah” with a big smile. I was totally besotted looking at his picture. It was love at first sight for me.

We could not meet till January due to some circumstances, and it felt like a long wait. This left me frustrated. I would constantly question my mom, “What happened to ‘that’ proposal, why isn’t the guy coming to see me?” She would always give me hope without ever getting miffed.

Finally, the day drew closer and I was flushed with immense joy. On January 14, 2012, the knight in the shinning amour finally came down from Delhi. When we saw each other for the first time something magical happened. We could not stop talking once we started. By the time our official meeting ended, we exchanged numbers and the day ended with our very first of many romantic dates.

The thought of my first date always brings out a chuckle. I was then working with a PR firm and had an event to attend, so I asked Saurav to join me there. We walked through the corridors of the Taj and soaked in every bit of our tête-à-tête. The world around us just failed to exist. Later that night we headed for what I would like to call the ‘real’ date. We spoke eye-to-eye, heart to heart becoming surer about each other. I could feel the connection and the feeling was wonderful.

The next two days just flew by and so did my love with a heavy heart. I could see the pain in his eyes at the airport before he left for Delhi. It took us ten days to tell our parents that we are ready to be tied in holy matrimony.

Our courtship lasted for six months and everything about it was surreal. He flew often to Bangalore and we spent hours chit-chatting about love, life and happiness. We were truly, madly and deeply in love. We had a very heartwarming engagement ceremony in Delhi at his house. Saurav went down on his knees and proposed to me in front of everyone. I was flabbergasted, overjoyed and teary-eyed, because it was just so dreamy and touching.

From falling in love to finding my better half, my life has been full of surprises. We have been married for a year now and it has been a great journey so far.

Menaz and Devang

Life is a like a blank page of dots, which gradually connect to form a pattern, with every passing experience. We realize the meaning and importance of certain events in our lives only after we look back at them from a future point.

It has been more than fourteen years since I have known her, and we have spent a lovely decade together. Little did I know, that my best friend’s sister would be the love of my life.

I was the President of the Rotaract Club of Churchgate, when she joined. What started as a secret crush, blossomed into a little more, and soon enough, all my friends could easily see through it. When it was pretty obvious even for her to know how I felt, I decided to declare my feelings openly on June 14th 2004. But I got that one response which a man dreads, and which a woman generally uses – “I do not see you that way.”

A hopeless romantic that I am, I decided to try the “Paanch Din Ladki In” theory I had seen in a Bollywood movie. I switched off my phone  and become inaccessible to all my contacts. When I switched it on the next day, there were around two-three messages and a couple of calls from her which I ignored. Finally the next day, my heart got the better of my head (as always) and I called her. We spoke through the night till four in the morning. (I guess the trick worked).

We met over coffee at Barista the next day, and I gave her a letter I had written, describing my feelings. I left for Ahmedabad in the evening, and while I was on my way to the railway station, I got a phone call from her. She said yes!

From that day on, there has been no looking back. We have been together ever since. She has been my best friend, and it has been a roller coaster ride. I have loved every minute of it and it wouldn’t be the same without her.

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